Don’t tell Brian, but now I’m considering replacing all of the toilets in our house. Doing this research assignment has been quite enlightening. Who knew that toilets had become part of the high tech industry? How did I miss all this advancement in toilet technology?
I just read an article in a computer magazine which subtitle reads, “Pimp your potty… Your bottom will thank you.” Apparently, toilets aren’t just for deposits anymore. They will clean your bottom, heat your bottom, and also deodorize your bottom. Some automatically lift the lid for you, illuminate at night for you, and even play “toilet tunes” for you. High tech toilets do much more than just dispose of undesirables.
Some toilets now even have integrated speakers which emit fake flushing sounds to mask embarrassing bodily noises. They also come with various sensors which can monitor blood pressure, body temperature, and blood sugar levels. They alert the user when these vital signs are outside of the normal range. Nurse in a Potty anyone?
“Antimicrobial” is the current buzz word in the toilet world. Built-in antimicrobial agents protect the toilet seat from odor- and stain-causing bacteria, mold and mildew. They say it prevents the growth of micro-organisms. One manufactures states that the toilet “essentially cleans itself”. Now that I find that hard to believe. My self-cleaning oven leaves things behind that I don’t want to see. They do admit that the antimicrobial agent does not protect the user from disease-causing bacteria… another thought I could have lived without.
There are many accessories that I can add to my toilet. A night light that signals red for seat “up” and green for seat “down”—that seems handy, Brian. There’s a seat fan that captures odors through a carbon filter, and a wireless sensor that cuts off the water supply and sounds an alarm during a leak or overflow. Of course, there are a variety of remote controls to regulate all the features including the integrated stereo speakers. I’m not quite sure why you need a remote when you are sitting right there.
But the technology isn’t even as interesting to me as the aesthetics of the modern day toilet. Since a picture says a thousand words…. Here are a few of my favorites:
Aside from many interesting photos, I also found several names used in the potty world: The Commode, The Crapper, The John, The Water Closet, The Head, The Loo, The Biffy, The Oval Office, The Porcelain Throne, The Powder Room, The Can, The Thunder Box, The Lavatory and The Latrine.
In our little Caravel, “Water Closet” may be the most appropriate…. Unless of course our English friends are visiting and then it’s definitely, The Loo.
So after all this research, our new Airstream toilet will have an enameled wood seat and elongated, deep ceramic bowl “for sparkling scratch-free, long-lasting performance.” It will have 360° RIM WASH action for a complete rinse; Extremely low flush technology which uses as little as 1 pint per flush with a simple push of the ergonomic flush pedal. It will have easy serviceability with modular parts and a 2 year warranty.
It won’t sing me songs or take my blood pressure, but I think we made a good choice.